Thinking of playing a little very candid camera with your other half? So long as you know your partner well enough to trust that the saucy pics won’t end up on some godawful site like GuessHerMuff, then you have our blessing. Here are a few things to bear (heh) in mind when taking naughty pics:
1. Less is more.
There’s no need to get totally naked and go for the full-on spread-eagle or “money” shots. Sometimes showing less is more. In fact, if you have any body parts you’re self conscious about, then by all means use an item of clothing, a blanket, a pillow, dramatic chiaroscuro lighting, or your partner to hide them.
2. Not the face!
Ladies, are you absolutely 100% sure that your partner isn’t the Guess Her Muff type? Even if you break their heart by sleeping with their roommate? Even if you have a melt-down worthy of Bachelor in Paradise? If there’s even a shadow of doubt, then insist on only using your camera. And remember that the photograph doesn’t necessarily have to include your face — maybe you’d relax more if you knew that no one who accidentally stumbled across these photos would know it was you. Either that or just don’t break their heart.
3. A tripod is your friend.
Use it to photograph yourself when you’re alone so you can practice poses and moves. When you take a pic you like, make it a surprise present for your partner (assuming, again, that you trust them implicitly): hide it in their suitcase before a business trip or email it to them as a promise of things to come. When you’re together, use a tripod so you can both be in the shot. That said, it’s also fun to pass the camera back and forth, so you can experience both sides of the exhibitionism/voyeurism coin.
4. This isn’t “America’s Next Top Model.”
Don’t feel like you have to strike a pose for every shot. Just like when you’re on vacation, the best pictures are the action shots (when you’re in the middle of doing something, moving, or laughing) rather than those boring, stiff, head-on shots in front of landmarks.
5. Aim from on high when taking naughty pics.
If you’re behind the camera, don’t shoot your subject from below, or from any unflattering angles for that matter. Respect the laws of gravity: taking a picture of your partner when you’re on top and they’re on the bottom usually looks better than taking a picture of your partner when you’re on the bottom. Basically, consider your subject and try to make them look as good as possible – and not just what you think looks good, but what you think they’ll think looks good.
6. Okay, maybe this is “America’s Next Top Model,” kinda.
If you’re in front of the camera, don’t slouch (it creates rolls), do flex your muscles (it masks flab), and do work your good side (you know you have one). If you’re standing for the camera, pose at an angle (rather than straight on), have good posture (it makes you look thinner), and do something with your arms (other than keeping them at your sides).
Ladies: arching your back, pointing your toes, and lifting your arms over your head are all feminine slimming tricks.
8. Use low light.
Avoid harsh, overhead, or florescent lighting — it tends to highlight imperfections. Experiment with daylight from a window, low-wattage lightbulbs in lamps, and candlelight. You should also avoid using a flash that lights up the whole room. Go with ambient light instead: that’ll mean you’ll have to hold the camera very still to keep the picture from turning out blurry, but the improved aesthetics of the picture will be well worth it.
9. Embrace the blur.
Speaking of blurriness, sometimes that’s not a bad thing. For example, you could both hold still save for your pumping hand around his unit and then take the pic — chances are that focal area will come out blurry and end up looking a little more arty (i.e. less porny). Blurriness can also nicely capture the motion and drama of, say, intercourse or just basic frottage.
10. Go for instant gratification.
Not that you would these days, but don’t use film that needs to be developed by a professional, duh. Go with instant-gratification gadgets like smartphones, digital cameras and instant mini cams (they’ve got a great retro factor, a built-in suspense mechanism, and an aversion to sharp detail, which is good news for imperfections and modesty). Then review the pictures together. Avoid the temptation of improving via Instagram filters, lest you end up accidentally sharing on social media. (If you must tinker, try Photoshop instead). Delete or trash anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, whether it’s for reasons of vanity or caution. But don’t be too hard on yourself or too overprotective — in twenty years you’ll wish you had that body back again and might appreciate it captured for posterity.